That Time I Went Up the CN Tower

 

That Time I… was started by Alex from Let Life Be Like Music and Emily from Inhabit Your Moments, and is being used with their permission. Be sure to visit their blogs on Wednesdays to read their That Time I…

That time I....went up the CN Tower in Toronto

 

I only live two hours away from Toronto. I’ve been seeing the CN Tower my whole life, and I’ve always been fascinated by it. Even though I’ve been to Toronto countless times (my dad spent two years in and out of a cancer hospital in Toronto when I was little, plus it was a popular place for school trips, and I’ve seen plays, Stars on Ice, and concerts there), I never had a chance to actually go up the CN Tower. A friend and I went inside once and wandered around, but we didn’t have time to go up.

When I got tickets to see U2 in July 2011, I was determined that would be when I’d finally go up the CN Tower. Amanda (my sister-in-law) and I went to Toronto the day before the concert and played tourists. We went to the beach, drove around, wandered around, and I finally, finally, got my wish to go up in the CN Tower.

I bought the tickets as part of Amanda’s birthday gift (her birthday was a few days before and I’d given her a ‘coupon’ saying I’d buy her ticket…yes, I’m a nerd), and we went inside and wandered around for a bit while we worked up the courage to actually go up. I’m not really afraid of heights (it depends on the place and situation), but she is, so we took our time. After awhile we went through security (you have to step through this thing that blows air all over you - it scared the crap out of me, but I guess it’s to detect bomb residue or something?) and headed toward the elevator. 

We zoomed to the top in the crazy-fast elevator and headed for the windows to look out. It was incredible to see the whole city from that high up. It was really hot that day, so it was pretty smoggy, but we still had a good view.

Then we went to the glass floor. I had absolutely no intention of going on it (remember how I said I wasn't afraid of heights except in certain situations? Yeah, standing on a glass floor 1,000+ feet above the ground would be one of them), but then I realized the experience wouldn't be complete without doing it. It took me forever to work up the courage, but I held Amanda's hand and finally managed to step onto the glass. She had even less intention of getting on than I did, but I finally convinced her to do it. It was both terrifying and thrilling, and I felt good about myself for doing something so far outside my comfort zone. I even added a similar scene into my third novel where the main character and her boyfriend visit the CN Tower and step onto the glass together.

Top left: holding Amanda's hand while I stepped onto the glass and she took a picture; right: somehow I worked up the courage to sit down; bottom: my feet (notice my broken left sandal) and the view - insane!

I would love to go up in the CN Tower again someday. I think it'd be really fun to do with someone who's either never been to Toronto before, or never been up the tower.

Have you been in the CN Tower? Are you afraid of heights? What's something you've done that was outside your comfort zone?

My best buddy

I used to hear mothers - particularly stay-at-home moms - say that their really young kids were their best friends. I always thought it was kind of sad - like, 'Don’t you have friends your own age?’ Or ‘You need to get out more if your baby/toddler is your best friend’. I never said anything of course, but I always thought it was an exaggeration or just a symptom of motherhood. A baby who can't talk or a toddler who talks nonsense couldn't possible be your best friend.

Then Logan came along. I’ve always been close with Noah and I feel like we have a really special bond, but it’s different with Logan. I think maybe it has something to do with being in the delivery room when he was born, seeing him draw his first breath, getting to hold him when he was just minutes old. I’ve also been fortunate enough to spend a lot more time with Logan than I ever did with Noah. While Amanda was taking courses and working, my mum and I watched Logan. I take partial credit for raising him, and I’m pretty damned pleased with the way he’s turning out.

The thing is…I’ve become one of those moms, except I’m not a mother yet, I’m an aunt. But Logan is my best buddy. When we had him here every day, it was one of the best times of my life. Getting to shape and mold him, see his personality develop, teach him things, and see so much of myself in him…it was amazing. Life changing. 

I’ve always seen a lot of myself in Noah, but again, it’s different with Logan. I feel like I get Logan. He’s so ridiculously smart, and so funny and unique. He blows my mind every minute I’m with him with the things he says and does. I’ve never met a kid like him, and I’ve been working with kids most of my life (first as a baby-sitter, then as a kindergarten teacher, then preschool teacher, and finally a nanny).

I’ve always said he’s like an adult trapped in a child’s body. Sometimes the way he looks at me makes my heart stop - he has the brightest, most intelligent eyes, and he looks at me like he can see into my soul. He’s always been that way. When he was a newborn, I’d be holding him and he’d stare at me like he could read my mind. He still does it. It's both unsettling and incredible. He’s very intense, but he’s also carefree and uninhibited. He’ll go from concentrating on something 100% to dancing around the house, singing, and laughing like a maniac.

And I talk to him like he’s an adult. I’ve never baby-talked to him and I don’t dumb things down. And he understands. It’s unreal. What really gets me is that he loves the same things I do - like, the weird little things that nobody ever understood. I’ve always been a closet geek (that’s actually something I’m going to talk about more later), and I’ve hidden that side of myself except with a select few people (except online, but again, I’ll talk about that another day). But Logan…I can tell he’s inherited my geek genes and I love it.

So when I let him choose whatever movie he wants and not just the Disney movies I’ve set aside for him and Noah, he picks things like Harry Potter and Phantom of the Opera. Did I mention he’s three years old? Seriously. And he WATCHES them. He’s absorbed in them like his life depends on it. And he’s not just zoning out, he keeps a running commentary and asks questions. Now you see why I say my mind is blown every second I’m with him. This tiny little person is a kindred spirit and I get him and he gets me. Yesterday I had him all day and he watched two Harry Potter movies and an episode and a half of Doctor Who. I kid you not. And this is all in between ‘normal’ kid things like kicking a ball around, playing with trucks, having a nap, helping me make dinner (ok, that might not be a normal kid thing, but he’s obsessed with helping). 

And he gives the best spontaneous hugs that melt my heart. We’ll be playing and all of sudden he just throws himself at me and wraps his arms around me and holds on tight. It makes me want to cry because it’s such pure love.

For all these reasons and a million tiny and huge other things, I’m not embarrassed to admit that a three-year-old is my best buddy. I hope it’s always this way and that eventually we can geek out together over things and that he’ll always get me and I’ll always get him. Everyone needs that in their lives. 

 

Saturday Smiles #4

 
This is the first time in over three months that I can genuinely say I had a good week. A really good week. After 13 weeks with a back injury and other various health issues, I finally got out and had some fun this week. I'm able to move around better and I was hardly in pain all week, which feels like an absolute miracle to me. It's surreal...I've been walking around waiting for the pain to come, while at the same time praying it never returns. I've been so used to hurting whenever I do the least little thing that it's strange...but wonderful!

On Tuesday, a couple of my mum's friends (who I've known my whole life, so they're my friends too) asked us to go out for lunch. We went to Lonestar, which is pretty much like a Texas grill. I'd been to the one an hour away when I was in college, and when they suggested we go there Tuesday I was kind of meh about it, but it ended up being great. I had a chicken quesadilla (my first time ever) and fries and it was SO GOOD and the price was great. Afterwards, we stopped to do a little bit of shopping, which was also fun since I haven't been able to do much shopping other than for groceries. 

On Wednesday I had to go have some tests done on my heart, which wasn't exactly fun, but then afterward Amanda (my sister-in-law) took us back to her place and we got to visit with my brother (Jamie) and play with Logan (my three-year-old nephew). Logan got his very first bike and he's so excited about it. He can't figure out how to peddle so he just propels himself along yelling "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" It's SO cute.

Look at this little face! Couldn't you just eat him up?

He has a tiny wheelbarrow to be like Daddy...Jamie is doing a bunch of landscaping and gardening at their house, and Logan has to do everything Jamie does. The puppy is Moe - he's the cutest damn thing, but they're not keeping him...their dogs had puppies and Moe's the last one to be sold. I want him!

More smiles: spring has finally arrived! The weather this week has been gorgeous, and everything is starting to bloom. The grass is really green and flowers are popping up everywhere. That's definitely helped with my outlook on life. Also, we've been able to have the windows and balcony doors open all day and night, which is wonderful. I've been cooped up in the apartment for three months and it's so nice to finally get fresh air in here...and to be able to go OUT in the fresh air!

Buds on the trees!

After we played with Logan and chatted with Jamie, we went to Amanda's latest doctor's appointment. She was 35 weeks pregnant on Thursday so she'll be going every week from now on. I got to go in with her and see the baby on a sonogram. The doctor predicts she's about six pounds already and Amanda just wants her to come out because she's afraid she'll end up being a 9 or 10 pounder, haha.

Last night, Amanda messaged me just before six and asked if we'd eaten yet and if we wanted to go out for ice cream. We don't normally eat until seven but that didn't stop me...that's one of the great things about being an adult: you can decide if you want dessert before dinner! Plus it's been a LONG time since I did anything spontaneous. She and the boys picked up Mum and me and we went to Reid's Dairy (a locally owned dairy with the best ice cream ever). We sat inside to eat and then went out to the playground and farm. The animals aren't out yet but we saw some fish (which Logan pronounces 'bitch'...I just about died...'Mimi, I wanna go see the bitch...where the bitch Mimi?') and some Canadian geese. 

Since the playground there is a death trap (it's like 8 feet high), we finally left and went for a drive. We ended up down by the bay and went to take some of Amanda's maternity pictures. We were taking pictures and 4 ducks came over and were swimming really close. We've all been to that park a million times and the ducks rarely come that close. Then a swan came over and was swimming a couple feet away and they never come close. It was so amazing! The swans usually stay way out in the bay, so it felt like all these birds were coming over just for us. 

This is just a sneak peek of Amanda's maternity pics...I'll post more later!

And finally almost three hours later when the sun started to set, we figured we should head home. All in all, it was an amazing week with lots to smile about, and I hope it's the beginning of a wonderful spring and summer! 

 

 What made you smile this week? How's the weather where you are?

First road trip of the year

Since I hurt my back seven weeks ago, I haven’t done much or gone out (except for trips to the doctor and the grocery store). It’s been a long month and a half, and during that time my mum has taken amazing care of me. We share an apartment and normally split the work, but she’s done just about everything for me lately, and she’s just been so incredible. Last week after going to the doctor and finding out I should heal 100% given time, I wanted to celebrate, so I suggested to Amanda (my sister-in-law) that we take a little road trip and surprise Mum since she’s been so wonderful and hasn’t gotten to do much the last seven weeks either.

We didn’t really have a plan. I wanted to go to Bonnie Toggs (a kids clothing store - I want to start buying stuff for my niece, who’s due in June), and Amanda had been craving Saint Cinnamon (or, according to her, the baby has been craving it). I just love drives and I figured even if we did a couple things it would still be a change of scenery for all of us.

We ended up having to take Logan (my 3-year-old nephew), which was fine because he’s hilarious and a lot of fun. We told Mum we were going to WalMart and then as we headed for the highway we told her we were taking a small detour. Her confusion was pretty funny, I must admit!

All we ended up doing was going to the Mall because I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was to be walking around. I barely made it to the bathroom and then the food court, and after that we had to get a wheelchair because I just couldn’t walk any further. It was incredibly frustrating, but we still had fun, and it was a day away from the same ol’ same ol’.

I'm hoping this will be the first of many road trips in 2013, and that I'll be able to enjoy the next one more!

What did you do this past weekend? Have you been on a road trip yet this year?

 
    

 

U23D

On Wednesday night, Amanda (my sister-in-law) and I went to see U23D in the theatre. It was originally released in 2008, but it didn’t come to my city’s theatre. The movie is a concert that was filmed in Buenes Aires during the Vertigo tour.

U2 has been my favourite band for many years. They’ve gotten me through good times and bad. Unless you have a favourite band, you might not understand the impact one can have on your life. I lead a pretty lonely life as a writer, and I don’t have many friends, but U2 has been there for me through everything. When I’m lonely, they’re there, when I’m happy, they’re there, when I’m sad, when I’m angry, when I’m celebrating, when I’m grieving, they’re there. They have a song for every mood and every occasion, and they’re always my go-to band when I need a pick-me-up or on a day when I’m mad and feel like holding onto that mad. I was listening to a U2 song when I found out my Grama died. They’ve been the soundtrack of my life, and for that I’ll always love them.

They’ve also been a big part of my relationship with Amanda. Things between us haven’t always been easy, especially in the beginning, but U2 has been one of the things that brought us together. I’m not sure how it came about but one day many years ago I discovered one of her favourite songs was With or Without You, and then came to realize she didn’t know it was by U2. We got talking about their music, and found out we had more in common than we realized.

In 2005, we went to our first U2 concert. We were about 18 rows from the stage, on the side, and it was one of the best nights of my life. People say seeing U2 live is like a religious experience, and I’d have to agree. It was uplifting, inspiring, and just mind-blowingly amazing. Three months later, we saw the band again, this time from the 300s (aka nose bleeds), and seeing them again was like coming home. That was the Vertigo tour, which was when U23D was filmed, so it was really exciting to know the setlist and remember little bits and pieces of the show that carried on throughout the entire tour. 
 

Getting in line at 6am paid off!

Our third time seeing the band was July 2011. I had tickets for over a year and a half because Bono was injured during the tour and they had to postpone part of it. When it finally rolled around, I definitely needed a U2 fix. I had general admission (floor) tickets, and I was determined to get inside the pit. On their last few tours, they’ve had a catwalk that stretches out in a circle from the stage and some fans are inside, some outside, and the rest are in seats. I knew the spots inside the circle were coveted and that people would be lining up early, if not camping overnight, so we were in line by 6am. I think that shows what a dedicated fan (and general crazy person) I am, that I would wait in line in the scorching July sun for twelve hours to see my favourite band. It was so worth it though because we made two new friends, one of whom had been to tons of U2 concerts and took us under her wing, and helped us not only get into the circle, but into the third row. It was amazing - every U2 fan’s dream come true, and certainly mine. I won’t go into much more detail because I’ve talked about it, and them, before (here, here, here, and here, just to name a few), but it was incredible.

As for what I thought of U23D...If you’ve never seen U2 live in concert, this is the next best thing. It’s like being in the first row, only better because you get to see things you wouldn’t even from the closest vantage point. Close-ups of Bono, Edge, Adam, and Larry, different angles, and things you’d never see otherwise. When Bono reached out toward the camera, it took everything in me not to reach back – it was so real. They did a fantastic job of producing it. It really was like being right there – I got just as emotional as I normally do at their concerts (when we were leaving, Amanda said she knew I’d cried, and I was like ‘duh I always cry when I see them live' lol). Also, Amanda is 21 weeks pregnant, and I wondered how Baby G would react to the loud music, and apparently she didn't move until With or Without You came on, and then she started kicking. I thought that was incredible - we think of that as 'our' song, the song that brought us together, so for the baby to kick right then was really fitting. We've created a U2 fan in the womb!

This was exactly what I needed. I’ve been saying for a while that 2013 is going to be epic, but let me tell you it hasn’t felt too epic the first few weeks. It was nice to get out, have some fun, see my favourite band, and feel that hope that only they have the power to instill in me. There are rumours that they’ll be releasing a new album in September (and maybe more than one, which would make me burst from over-excitement). Plus there’s the fact that I’m currently looking for signs that mean I’m supposed to go to Ireland this year (you can see what I mean by that here - 6th one down), and I feel like seeing U23D and knowing the band might be releasing a new album(s) this year are signs (they’re from Ireland). It may sound silly, but anything that keeps me going and keeps me believing can’t be a bad thing, right?


    

September Nostalgia

I always get a funny feeling around this time of year. 

The fair was in town this past weekend, and school started today. The fair used to be a huge deal for me when I was a teenager. I don't think I ever went when I was little; at least I don't remember ever going. High school was a different story though. I live just around the corner from the fairgrounds, and my best friend Suleena and I would go every year. It was a huge deal for us. We took pains with our appearances, as if we were going somewhere fancy rather than just the fair. It was the late 90s, so there was a lot of glitter involved, as you can imagine. Temporary tattoos, too, if I remember correctly. 

We would head over as soon as the fair opened at noon, buy our wristbands, and ride the rides all day...but we only liked a handful of rides, so it was the same thing for hours on end. Neither of us minded. I can remember the smell of French fries, cotton candy, candy apples, and various other artery-clogging, sugary confections. Music blasted from huge stereo speakers, and mixed with excited screams to form the soundtrack of the end of summer. Nighttime was always my favourite time to be at the fair - all the little kids had gone home, and I loved seeing all those neon lights flashing like a glow in the dark kaleidoscope. From the top of the ferris wheel, you could see the bay glinting in the distance, and the entire city sprawled below. We would stay until closing and then go back to my place for a sleepover. We were the two musketeers in those days. It was always the two of us, no one else.

I have some really amazing memories of those days. I can't remember the last time I went to the fair. I think Suleena and I went once in college, but I honestly can't remember. After that, she had a daughter of her own, and we didn't go together anymore. There was no one else I wanted to go with, and the price of admission was a deterrent from going and simply wandering around. 

Every year now I feel nostalgic when the fair comes to town on Labour Day weekend. It feels like a lifetime ago that I was inside those gates laughing and carefree, trying to forget that school would be starting in a few days. I always had this major anxiety about the first week of school. Now it's been ten years since I graduated from high school - I can't believe it.

Time sure does fly. I'm tired of feeling like it's flying away from me, beyond my control. It's time for change...

Make a Wish

Down on the farm...sort of

These were taken the other day at Taste of Country, a locally owned store that sells frozen food, freshly baked goods, and the most unique, beautiful gift stuff you can imagine. It's in a great big old house on a big plot of land, and there's a little area for kids to play with two old tractors. 

The munchkin in the picture is my 2-year-old nephew, Logan. 

The entire ten or so minutes we were playing, he kept asking "Where the keys? Where the keys?"

"Mimi, where the keys? Where the keys, Mimi?"

With Nana, a real farm girl. She learned to drive a tractor when she was six.

 

 

Jenn's Wedding

One of my best childhood friends, Jenn, got married on Saturday. The ceremony was held at a beautiful hall just outside town. The ceremony itself was outdoors with a lovely view of the river, and the weather was perfect. The chairs were under a tent (which Jenn and I got the license for a couple weeks ago - took us ten times longer to get the tent license than her marriage license), and there was a nice breeze coming off the water.

Jenn had 6 attendants - Starr, who I’ve known since Kindergarten (a year longer than I’ve known Jenn), three I’ve known for several years through Jenn (Tanya, Lindsey, and Jill), one I just met at Jenn’s bridal shower (Andrea), and Jenn’s new sister-in-law (also named Jenn). Jenn’s dad and six-year-old son Kaleb walked her down the aisle. It was very sweet, and she looked beautiful.

Kaleb, Jenn, Mr. Ashby

The ceremony was short and simple, and was completed with a sand ceremony to signify the union of their families (Adam has two daughters - they were flower girls). It was really nice, and by some miracle, I managed not to cry!

After the ceremony, there was a lot of standing around while pictures were taken. Suleena (my other best childhood friend, and my date for the wedding) and I hung out with the bridal party while they waited for their pictures, which didn’t end up happening until after dinner. 

Me, Jenn, Suleena

Intros and speeches took place in between dinner courses, and then we all went outside so some of the tables could be moved to create a dance floor, and so more pictures could be taken. We ended up with the bridal party again, taking pictures of our own while they waited for their actual professional shots. We had a lot of fun.

Me and Suleena

Tanya and me

When we went back inside, Suleena and I left our assigned table of strangers and sat with the bridal party near the dance floor while Jenn and Adam had their first dance, then the father/daughter and mother/son dances. I only cried twice that night - once during one of the groomsmen’s speeches when he said Kaleb told him he was getting a new dad that day and asked if it was ok, because he (the groomsmen) had basically been like a dad up until then, and once when Jenn was dancing with her dad, because it made me sad that I’ll never have that. I’d say that’s pretty good for me, since I’m known for being a crier! 

The fun really began when we all finally got on the dance floor. Except for her bachelorette party, I haven’t been dancing with Jenn in about eight years, and we used to go every weekend in college, so it was like a blast from the past, especially with Tanya there, because she used to be one of our club buddies.

My favorite part of the day (besides actually seeing Jenn get married, of course) was getting to catch up with old friends - Starr and Tanya in particular. It made me sad when we left, because I have no idea when I’ll see them again. Starr lives out of town, and I haven’t seen her since we graduated from high school (ten years this month), and I haven’t seen Tanya since about 2005, and she just moved across the country a few weeks ago, so chances of seeing her again for awhile are slim. It’s a strange feeling - kind of bittersweet, getting to catch up, feeling like you’ve reconnected, but knowing it will probably be years before we see each other again.

Starr and me

Anyway, it was a great day, and I had a lot of fun. It was incredibly surreal to watch Jenn get married. None of us ever thought she’d get married, and when we were little, we all thought I’d be the first to get married and have kids, but almost all our friends are married and/or have kids, and I'm still single (feeling kind of like the spinster aunt lately). I’m so happy that Jenn’s happy, and I hope she and Adam have a long, love-filled life together.