Monday, April 29, 2013


I saw the above image on Facebook yesterday and it really struck a chord with me. It's from Team Beachbody, so I know it has to do with fitness/health, but for me it made me think of the problems I've had with my back for the last three months. Three months, you guys. If you've been reading the blog, you'll know that I have a bulging disc in my back and it's taking forever to heal. I've run the gamut of symptoms from extreme pain in my back to pain and burning in my legs, muscle spasms, pins and needles in my legs and feet, you name it. When I went to see the doctor seven weeks ago, he told me it should heal 100% I'd just have to be patient. I've been patient, and now I'm just ready for life to return to normal.

But I can feel myself getting closer every day. I don't limp anymore and I've regained feeling in my right toes, although my left toes remain stubbornly semi-numb. I have a bit of pain in my upper thighs when I walk sometimes, but it's not bad. Shopping is an ordeal - that's usually when I end up in the most pain. My sciatic nerve seems to be fine now - I was having sharp pain down the outside of my right leg for several weeks whenever I walked or moved it a certain way and it doesn't do that anymore. I still haven't been able to take the bus anywhere, which really sucks. I'm afraid of jarring my back, and I'm also afraid of the pain in my legs and making it worse. 

I'm just ready to get out there and LIVE again. 

But I have learned quite a bit over the last almost 13 weeks. I've learned who my real friends are. I told my two best childhood friends - both of whom live in town - that I had hurt myself and that I couldn't really go out. Neither of them has bothered to ask how I am or offered to help me in any way. Another person has gone to doctor's appointments with me, seen me when I freeze up and can't walk because I'm in so much pain, and knows that I can't go out, but hasn't asked for progress updates or offered to do anything for me. It's seriously frustrating and it makes me angry too because I feel like there's no one I can really count on. My online friends, however, have been amazing. They've sympathized, asked how I'm doing, sent well-wishes and prayers. It's a bittersweet feeling - I'm so grateful to have them, but it also makes me sad that people who I've never even met care more about me than people I've known most of my life. If it weren't for them and for my mum, who has been an absolute godsend during this time, I'd have lost my mind ages ago.

This injury has also taught me not to take my health and mobility for granted. I've been a bit of a hermit the last few years - always working, rarely going out, very much a homebody, plus I hate taking the bus and that's pretty much my only mode of transportation - and I had gotten into the habit of sticking close to home. I didn't make much of an effort to go out other than to the library, to visit my Grama (my hermit status became worse after she died), and to grocery shop. There was nothing fun, new, or exciting to do, so I just stayed home. Now I'd give just about anything to be able to take the bus and go ANYWHERE. As soon as I'm better and able to ride the bus again, I'll be going out more often. I'll make my own fun, find my own adventures, and never ever forget the hell I've been through with this injury and how it's taken away my freedom.

I had also gotten lazy about my health in general. I need to lose a lot of weight and I've worked on it on and off for years, but I would get lazy about exercising or tired of eating healthy. I had gotten into a bit of a walking routine in the weeks before I hurt myself but that obviously ended the day the disc bulged and changed everything about the way I live. I haven't been able to exercise, but I have gotten in the habit or getting up and moving around often. I don't sit for long periods of time anymore, and as soon as I'm able to I'll get outside and start walking. I need to lose weight and build up strength in my legs and back so this hopefully never happens again. Any time I feel like being lazy I'll remember the pain, the loneliness, the monotony, and I'll get my ass in gear.

For now I have to focus on the progress I've made and hold onto the hope that I'll soon be 100% better. *I may not be there yet but I'm closer than yesterday.* This is going to be my new mantra until I'm better, and then it'll be my mantra for weight loss. It's not always easy to stay positive, but I'm getting it my best shot! 



Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Wordless Wednesday #6 - Mum's Birthday

I've seen different versions of Wordless Wednesday around the blogosphere for years and since I'm always saying I'll post more of my photography on this blog but then never do, I thought doing my own version of Wordless Wednesday would be good incentive.


Monday, April 22, 2013

My impressions of Doctor Who, Series One

For ages, I saw people talking about Doctor Who on Twitter and Facebook. I had no idea what it was about, and honestly had no interest. Then, when I realized that the show was one of my closest friend’s favourites, I knew it was time to take an interest.

Luckily, my library had a copy of the first season. I was warned by several people on Twitter that it might take a bit of getting used to – that it was weird and campy and the effects were cheesy and a few other things – but that if I gave it a chance, I would love it...

They were right. The first couple episodes piqued my interest while also making me think ‘what the hell have I gotten myself into?’ Luckily I’m a fan of the wacky and weird, so I had no trouble giving it a chance, and promising that I’d at least watch the first season all the way through.

By the third episode, I knew there wouldn’t be a problem keeping that promise. I was hooked. Molli had warned me the show would cause a lot of feels, and I kept wondering how and when…and then I started to feel it by "Aliens of London", and I really started to become emotionally invested in the show. 

When it came to “Father’s Day”, I got kicked hard in the feels. I bawled like a baby. My dad died when I was ten, and even though it was under completely different circumstances, I’d give anything to have the chance to go back in time and see him again and say goodbye. I’m sure I would have gotten emotional regardless, but it hit me really hard, and that was the episode that bumped me from liking Doctor Who to loving Doctor Who.

I thought Rose was great. I did another post about this, but it was so weird seeing Billie Piper as Rose - I didn't even know she was an actress! I loved the interactions between Rose and The Doctor, and watching them figure each other out. It was obvious she got under his skin and really made him think, and I got giggly several times as their relationship progressed. And then there was Jack. Oh, Jack. What an awesome addition. I also grew to really like Mickey and Jackie, especially in the last episode when they helped Rose. 

I got so attached to The Doctor that I was dreading coming to the end. Most of the people I’ve talked to have said Ten is their favourite, and I’m sure I’ll love him too, but I got really attached to Nine. He was crazy and intense and manic, and the way he looked at Rose made my heart stop more than once. I bawled when he sent Rose away in the Tardis, and then cried even harder during his speech to her before he regenerated into Ten.*sigh*

So, yeah, I’m a convert. Can I officially call myself a Whovian after only one season?


Friday, April 5, 2013

Flashback Friday: Billie Piper

I just recently started watching series one of Doctor Who, and I was shocked when I discovered Rose was played by Billie Piper. I didn’t even know she was an actress…most people probably know her as Rose, but to me she was Billie, a singer I loved in the late 90s/early 2000s.

From what I can tell, she was fairly popular here in Canada and in the UK, but not so much in the US. I have her debut album, Honey to the Bee, and still actually get some of her songs stuck in my head, even all these years later. I remember when her single Because We Want To was played ALL THE TIME on the radio and Much Music.

I have a few favourite songs from the album, but I particularly love this one - it's just so much fun. There's no official video, but you can hear the song here:

Do you remember Billie's music? Are you a Doctor Who fan?

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Wordless Wednesday #5 - Peephole

I've seen different versions of Wordless Wednesday around the blogosphere for years and since I'm always saying I'll post more of my photography on this blog but then never do, I thought doing my own version of Wordless Wednesday would be good incentive.

Friends has been one of my favourite TV shows for as long as I can remember. This was inspired by the peephole frame in Monica's apartment. I've lived in the same apartment for almost seventeen years and this has been here for most of them!