Thursday, May 16, 2013

My best buddy

I used to hear mothers - particularly stay-at-home moms - say that their really young kids were their best friends. I always thought it was kind of sad - like, 'Don’t you have friends your own age?’ Or ‘You need to get out more if your baby/toddler is your best friend’. I never said anything of course, but I always thought it was an exaggeration or just a symptom of motherhood. A baby who can't talk or a toddler who talks nonsense couldn't possible be your best friend.

Then Logan came along. I’ve always been close with Noah and I feel like we have a really special bond, but it’s different with Logan. I think maybe it has something to do with being in the delivery room when he was born, seeing him draw his first breath, getting to hold him when he was just minutes old. I’ve also been fortunate enough to spend a lot more time with Logan than I ever did with Noah. While Amanda was taking courses and working, my mum and I watched Logan. I take partial credit for raising him, and I’m pretty damned pleased with the way he’s turning out.

The thing is…I’ve become one of those moms, except I’m not a mother yet, I’m an aunt. But Logan is my best buddy. When we had him here every day, it was one of the best times of my life. Getting to shape and mold him, see his personality develop, teach him things, and see so much of myself in him…it was amazing. Life changing. 

I’ve always seen a lot of myself in Noah, but again, it’s different with Logan. I feel like I get Logan. He’s so ridiculously smart, and so funny and unique. He blows my mind every minute I’m with him with the things he says and does. I’ve never met a kid like him, and I’ve been working with kids most of my life (first as a baby-sitter, then as a kindergarten teacher, then preschool teacher, and finally a nanny).

I’ve always said he’s like an adult trapped in a child’s body. Sometimes the way he looks at me makes my heart stop - he has the brightest, most intelligent eyes, and he looks at me like he can see into my soul. He’s always been that way. When he was a newborn, I’d be holding him and he’d stare at me like he could read my mind. He still does it. It's both unsettling and incredible. He’s very intense, but he’s also carefree and uninhibited. He’ll go from concentrating on something 100% to dancing around the house, singing, and laughing like a maniac.

And I talk to him like he’s an adult. I’ve never baby-talked to him and I don’t dumb things down. And he understands. It’s unreal. What really gets me is that he loves the same things I do - like, the weird little things that nobody ever understood. I’ve always been a closet geek (that’s actually something I’m going to talk about more later), and I’ve hidden that side of myself except with a select few people (except online, but again, I’ll talk about that another day). But Logan…I can tell he’s inherited my geek genes and I love it.

So when I let him choose whatever movie he wants and not just the Disney movies I’ve set aside for him and Noah, he picks things like Harry Potter and Phantom of the Opera. Did I mention he’s three years old? Seriously. And he WATCHES them. He’s absorbed in them like his life depends on it. And he’s not just zoning out, he keeps a running commentary and asks questions. Now you see why I say my mind is blown every second I’m with him. This tiny little person is a kindred spirit and I get him and he gets me. Yesterday I had him all day and he watched two Harry Potter movies and an episode and a half of Doctor Who. I kid you not. And this is all in between ‘normal’ kid things like kicking a ball around, playing with trucks, having a nap, helping me make dinner (ok, that might not be a normal kid thing, but he’s obsessed with helping). 

And he gives the best spontaneous hugs that melt my heart. We’ll be playing and all of sudden he just throws himself at me and wraps his arms around me and holds on tight. It makes me want to cry because it’s such pure love.

For all these reasons and a million tiny and huge other things, I’m not embarrassed to admit that a three-year-old is my best buddy. I hope it’s always this way and that eventually we can geek out together over things and that he’ll always get me and I’ll always get him. Everyone needs that in their lives. 


1 comment:

Jessica L. Tate said...

I almost just cried reading this. It is the sweetest thing I have ever read. Children are such wonderful people, so innocent and full of love and life. I'm glad you have Logan in your life! <3