September Nostalgia

I always get a funny feeling around this time of year. 

The fair was in town this past weekend, and school started today. The fair used to be a huge deal for me when I was a teenager. I don't think I ever went when I was little; at least I don't remember ever going. High school was a different story though. I live just around the corner from the fairgrounds, and my best friend Suleena and I would go every year. It was a huge deal for us. We took pains with our appearances, as if we were going somewhere fancy rather than just the fair. It was the late 90s, so there was a lot of glitter involved, as you can imagine. Temporary tattoos, too, if I remember correctly. 

We would head over as soon as the fair opened at noon, buy our wristbands, and ride the rides all day...but we only liked a handful of rides, so it was the same thing for hours on end. Neither of us minded. I can remember the smell of French fries, cotton candy, candy apples, and various other artery-clogging, sugary confections. Music blasted from huge stereo speakers, and mixed with excited screams to form the soundtrack of the end of summer. Nighttime was always my favourite time to be at the fair - all the little kids had gone home, and I loved seeing all those neon lights flashing like a glow in the dark kaleidoscope. From the top of the ferris wheel, you could see the bay glinting in the distance, and the entire city sprawled below. We would stay until closing and then go back to my place for a sleepover. We were the two musketeers in those days. It was always the two of us, no one else.

I have some really amazing memories of those days. I can't remember the last time I went to the fair. I think Suleena and I went once in college, but I honestly can't remember. After that, she had a daughter of her own, and we didn't go together anymore. There was no one else I wanted to go with, and the price of admission was a deterrent from going and simply wandering around. 

Every year now I feel nostalgic when the fair comes to town on Labour Day weekend. It feels like a lifetime ago that I was inside those gates laughing and carefree, trying to forget that school would be starting in a few days. I always had this major anxiety about the first week of school. Now it's been ten years since I graduated from high school - I can't believe it.

Time sure does fly. I'm tired of feeling like it's flying away from me, beyond my control. It's time for change...

Flashback Fridays: Days with Grama

Flashback Fridays is a weekly meme here at Lost and Found. The idea is to talk about something from your past - a childhood memory, a favorite vacation, favorite music or movies or TV shows from the past, a special memory from high school or your days as a young adult, a big event in your life (grad, wedding, becoming a parent, going back to school, new job), games you used to play, childhood friends - anything at all. Every week, I'll post a Linky so you can link up your Flashback Friday post and we can hop around to visit each other and enjoy the reminiscing.

My Grama was always one of my best friends. We used to say we were ‘kindred spirits’ - we had this amazing, special connection.

I’m the baby in my family. My parents had me later in life, so my brother and two cousins are much older than I am. Because of that, they got to know Grama in ways I didn’t - they got to have sleepovers at her house, and have her cook meals for them, and bake them treats. They got to see her active, and have her play with them on the floor and run around with them and take them places. There have been times over the years when I felt almost cheated because I missed out on all of that, but then I realized just like they got a side of Grama that I never got, I got a side of her none of them got. Now I see I got the best parts of her. 

Me with Grama and Poppy

Up until the time I was 12, we lived in the country in a house that had actually belonged to my Grama and Poppy before my Poppy had a stroke and they had to move because they couldn’t handle a house. They moved to an apartment, then a retirement home, and then a retirement home/nursing home combo - Grama lived in the retirement part, Poppy lived in the nursing home part because he required more care.

After my dad died and we had to sell our house (a story for another day), my mum and I moved into the city, farther away from Grama and Poppy. We still visited them every weekend, but it wasn’t as easy to just pop over for a visit. There was a girl who worked at the retirement home who was very fond of Grama and who lived fairly close to me. The summer we moved, she used to take me with her a couple times a week to spend the day with Grama. We would do group exercises first thing in the morning, and then spend the rest of the morning in her room talking. We talked about anything and everything - books, history, school, friends, boys, family, you name it. Whatever my little 12-year-old mind came up with, she would listen and encourage me. She even indulged me when I told her I secretly believed unicorns were real.

Before lunch, I would go downstairs to the dining room with the girl who worked there and help her set the tables. It might sound weird, but it was a lot of fun. When I was finished with that, I would load up a trolley with dishes and cutlery for two, our lunch, and then take it upstairs where Grama and I would eat in the fancy ‘family dining room’, just the two of us. I loved that. I would get to serve her, pour our drinks, get her whatever she needed, and feel like an adult. Once in awhile, they had special meals like KFC, and we would eat downstairs in the main dining room with everyone else. In the afternoons, Grama would sometimes have a short nap, then we would visit some more, go downstairs to see Poppy, and then we’d do whatever activities had been planned - Bingo, musical entertainment, Dominos, card games, etc. It was so much fun, and all the little old ladies made a big fuss over me.

We also had a family friend who lived near our old house, and she had me over to her place fairly regularly that summer. She brought Grama over sometimes when I was there so we could all spend time together. This family friend taught me to play the piano, and I remember giving a 'recital' for her, my mum, and Grama. I still have the program I made in my Memory Box. I keep everything.

We were all heartbroken when Grama had to leave the retirement home and move to a nursing home. Poppy had passed away by then, and where Grama lived was up to fate - she had her name on a waiting list, and had no control over where she ended up. Luckily, she ended up in a nursing home just five minutes away from Mum and me, so we got to visit her more often.

Grama and I were always close, but in the year before her death, we became even closer. There was a short period where I didn’t visit her as often as I would have liked, or as I should have because I was so busy, but in the year before she died, I visited her as often as I could. I was always interested in our family history, and I made sure to ask her plenty of questions and write things down. I remember her telling me when I was a little girl that she wished she had asked her grandmother more questions, and I was determined not to have those regrets myself.

She and I had so much fun. She was my biggest supporter and cheerleader. Every week she wanted to know how my writing was coming, what I’d been doing, where I’d been, and hear stories about the boys (my nephews). She was fascinated with technology, even though she didn’t understand most of it. The November before she died, I went to all the events I’d never gone to before at the nursing home - the birthday tea, the bazaar - and I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t thank my lucky stars that I did that, because they were the last she’d have. We had a huge 99th birthday party for her that month, and I made sure I was never more than a few feet away from her in case she needed anything. She would visually seek me out once in awhile and give me one of her beautiful, heart-melting smiles. She always made me feel so needed and loved. 

When she got sick and went into the hospital, my mum and I spent quite a bit of time with her in the hospital. Even though she was sick, I have great memories from those nights. She was in good spirits, talking and joking, asking me questions and telling me things. Usually when she was really sick (there were a few times over the years when we thought we would lose her), she became really disoriented, but not this time. She was so strong, we all thought she was going to pull through - she was only three months away from her 100th birthday - but her body had other ideas, and it just couldn’t handle all that was wrong with it.

Life hasn’t been the same since Grama died. It’s been nine months, and I still feel lost a lot of the time. So much of my life centred around her. On a daily basis, I still find myself thinking ‘I have to tell Grama that’ or ‘Grama will think that’s funny’ or ‘I’ll have to take that to show Grama’. There are just some things you never get over, and I think her death will be one of those things for me. I didn’t just lose a grandparent, I lost a friend, a part of my heart and soul.

BUT…I have amazing memories of her. 27 years of wonderful, heartwarming, laugh-out-loud memories of things she said, places we went, conversations we had, loving looks she gave me. I have no regrets when it comes to her, and for that, I feel truly blessed. 

What were your grandparents like? Were you close to them?

If you did a Flashback Friday post this week, be sure to link up below! Happy Friday!

First Loves Blogfest

Lost and Found is only about two weeks old, so this is my first blogfest! I'm very excited to be participating in the First Loves Blogfest, hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh, where we talk about our first loves: first movie, first song/band, first book, and first person.

First movies: I have three movies that I always associate with my childhood: Robin Hood, Sword in the Stone, and Labyrinth.  I loved movies with lots of action, humor, romance (Robin Hood and Maid Marian always made me swoon), and music. All three of these movies have great songs in them...songs I still know all the words to today!

First musical love: As a product of the 80s, it likely won't be a big shock when I say my first music love was New Kids on the Block. I think I was about six when they formed, and I was obsessed - I had all their cassettes, plus a ton of memorabilia - shirts, books, videos, even a Joey McIntyre doll. I never got the chance to see them in concert when I was little, but when they reunited, one of my childhood best friends got tickets, and we went to see them. It was a dream come true for me, almost two decades in the making, and we had a blast, especially since we were in the second row. I definitely felt like a kid again.

Back in the day. Their hair, and Donnie's expression kills me.

In 2008, when Jenn and I saw them.

First books: I loved to read as a kid (still do; my other blog is a book blog), and my first favorite books were the Berenstain Bears books. I was always obsessed with Halloween, so The Berenstain Bears Trick or Treat was always my favorite. I still have my entire Berenstain Bears collection and read the books to my nephews. When I got older and started reading chapter books, Anne of Green Gables was my favorite.

First love: It took me awhile to decide what to write for this part. I knew I could talk about my parents and brother and grandparents - they were my first loves. I could talk about my childhood best friend, the one who made me realize what affectionate love was. I could talk about all the crushes I had growing up and the unrequited love I experienced (over and over and over lol). But I decided those are topics for another day. Today is for my first 'romantic love' - Roger, my first boyfriend.

I was 15 when I met Roger. All these years later, I even remember the date - October 25th, 1999. I was 15 when we met. My brother, Jamie, and I worked for a delivery company (he drove and did the actual deliveries, I was basically his sidekick and manned the CB radio…and since driving around was one of my favorite things to do, it was the perfect job). We were working that day, and I remember our boss talking to Roger over the radio (his uncle D worked for the company). Jamie and I got into a car accident that night, and long story short, Jamie was hurt, we went to the hospital, and his car was towed to D’s house to be fixed.

When we were finally done at the hospital, we ended up at D’s house to check out the car (the front was crumpled, and the passenger side door was bent - I almost hadn’t been able to get out), and Roger - until then, the faceless voice I’d been hearing over the radio - was there. People ask if love at first sight is possible, and I don’t know if it was love, lust, or infatuation, but it was instant for both of us, even at that age.

We spent quite a bit of time at D’s after that while the guys worked on Jamie’s car. I won’t bore you with details, but it was obvious Roger and I liked each other, and Jamie and his girlfriend at the time, Danielle, made sure we got to spend ‘chaperoned’ time together (my brother is 10 years older than I am, and super protective of me). The four of us spent a lot of time at Tim Horton’s, Danielle’s place, my place, and just driving around. We watched movies together, cooked dinners together, went on road trips, and basically had a blast. When I think back and realize we were only together for about two months, it’s hard to believe, because it felt like much longer. My sixteenth birthday is still my favorite birthday, because I spent it with my mum, Jamie, Danielle, Danielle’s son, and Roger, and they all made it really special and memorable for me.

Roger and I broke up around New Year’s because he had to move away. It was an odd breakup with no real closure. He popped up once a couple years later and we spent an evening together catching up. I saw him once or twice other than that until I was 19 and he showed back up - living, of all places, in the house across the road from my brother and his then girlfriend (now wife), Amanda. Three years had passed, but I still loved him, and I told him so. We spent a few weeks together, and it was a lot like it had been when we were 16. I knew it wasn’t going to lead anywhere, and I didn't even really want it to, but I enjoyed the time while I had it. Our parting was pretty much like it was the first time - no closure, but I was at least prepared for it that time because I knew what he was like.

Funny thing is, it’s been about nine years since I last saw him, and I still miss him, and think about him often. I understand now what people mean when they say you never really get over your first love. He was like part of our family - he even lived with us for a few weeks. He drove me crazy and he made me angry and he did stupid things (note to self: stay away from bad boys)...we weren’t compatible at all, but it was still amazing while it lasted, and even though I got hurt, I don’t regret it.

So, those are my big firsts. I can't wait to read about other peoples' firsts. I love getting your comments, and I promise I'll visit you in return! If you're not participating in the blogfest, feel free to tell me your firsts in the comments.

Flashback Friday: Friday night TV

Flashback Fridays is a weekly meme here at Lost and Found. The idea is to talk about something from your past - a childhood memory, a favorite vacation, favorite music or movies or TV shows from the past, a special memory from high school or your days as a young adult, a big event in your life (grad, wedding, becoming a parent, going back to school, new job), games you used to play, childhood friends - anything at all. Every week, I'll post a Linky so you can link up your Flashback Friday post and we can hop around to visit each other and enjoy the reminiscing.

My flashback for today is to the 90s and the TGIF lineup on ABC. Do you remember it? I grew up with these shows, and looked forward to them every week. I remember when the shows slowly started to peter out and turned to more adult shows like Hope and Faith, which I had absolutely no interest in. I was so disappointed, and for awhile, I felt kind of lost on Friday nights. It was like the end of an era for me - all these people I felt like I'd grown up with were gone. It’s been 12 years and Friday nights haven’t been the same since.

TGIF originally started out with Perfect Strangers (which I don’t really remember, and I’m not even sure I actually watched), Just the 10 of Us (which I don’t remember at all), Family Matters, and Full House (both of which I loved). Over the years, the shows changed, but there were always at least a few of them that I watched: Step by Step (loved), Boy Meets World (LOVED), Sabrina the Teenage Witch (loved), You Wish (loved, so disappointed it got cancelled early on), Clueless (really liked, although not as much as the movie), Dinosaurs (watched it, but felt sort of meh about it), Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place (also known as 2 Guys and a Girl, also known as the show where I discovered Ryan Reynolds), Making the Band (anyone remember O-Town? I loved them, and it was so cool watching them become a band), Hanging With Mr. Cooper (liked), and Teen Angel (didn't like).

TGIF nights were something my mum and I shared. It was a bonding thing for us. There’s a double generation gap between the two of us (technically she’s old enough to be my grandmother - my parents had me later in life), and yet she watched these crazy, silly teenage shows with me. I know some people will never understand getting so attached to TV shows or fictional characters, but a lot of these shows really shaped me while I was growing up. To this day, I have fond memories of TGIF nights. All these years later I still miss it, and wish a network would come up with a fun lineup of shows. My current lineup (although it’s about to change because each of them is ending for the season) is The Vampire Diaries (the season finale of which was last night, and I’m still reeling…I'll be blogging about that later), CSI: NY, and Blue Bloods. 

I want to get all my favorite TGIF shows on DVD so that I can re-watch them (if I had to choose only one it would be Boy Meets World), and then have them for someday when I have kids. Maybe we can start our own TGIF family night tradition.

Do you remember these shows? Which were your favorites? Do you have a current Friday night lineup, or do you (unlike me) actually have a life and do other things on Friday nights?